I'm Not Ashamed, You're Entertained
by Lacrymosa
Summary: Bellatrix Black has always loved an audience...
1. Trixie

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my computer and an overactive imagination. Oh, and a fire breathing nun. All characters are property of the genius JKR. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows. That being said, read and review!

_**I'm Not Ashamed, You're Entertained**_

Bellatrix Black has always loved an audience.

When she was eight years old, she stole her father's wand during a dinner party. Accompanied by Narcissa, Regulus and Sirius, she ducked under the railing separating the lushly carpeted landing from the diners below. Cygnus Black was telling a joke about a goblin and a kelpie who both walk in a tavern, his face ruddy from the wine and the infectiously jovial atmosphere in the Black dining room: it was the perfect time to act.

Urged on by her cousins and sister, Bellatrix waved the wand once at the bottoms of the chairs. Instantly there was a loud crash and a few loud scrapes as the chairs hit the marble floor. The chair-legs had vanished into thin air without a trace. One of the guests in attendance, a rather portly woman in mauve silk robes cried out: "Cygnus! That…wasn't the punch line, was it?"

Bellatrix giggled into her hands, and the four children were able to escape amidst the annoyed mumblings of the guests below. Breathless, they arrived in Bellatrix's bed chambers, laughing madly. Sirius flopped on her bed, pushing dark hair out of his eyes.

"Trixie, that was amazing! I've never seen father so caught off guard," he said while chuckling bemusedly. Sirius, as the oldest of the four, had been recently lectured on taking some responsibility around the other younger children. After all, they were purebloods and had to behave as such. That didn't stop him from urging Bellatrix on as much as Regulus and Narcissa did.

Bellatrix, still giggling, ran out of the room to replace her father's wand where she had found it, on his bedside table. Screeching to a halt when she arrived at her bedroom door, she paused for a second. A little voice in her head was admonishing her softly, questioning why she had jinxed those chairs and hurt all those people…

Bellatrix shook her head, causing wisps of pin-straight black hair to fall out of the elaborate bun Druella had put it in earlier. She pushed the door to her room open. Nine year old Sirius was lounging on her bed, playing with a set of Gobstones he had found on her dressing table. Regulus was sitting on the floor, his head in his hands, apparently still in hysterics from Bellatrix's little stunt. Five-year-old Narcissa was teetering on Bellatrix's desk-chair, trying to reach a porcelain doll on a high shelf.

"Cissy!", cried Bellatrix, annoyed. "Come down here right now! I don't want Daddy coming up here. He's probably going to suspect me of jinxing the chairs anyway!" As an afterthought, Bellatrix added: "and if you touch that doll, I'll curse it, and make it come after you tonight, and you'll never be able to come in my room again!"

Narcissa looked momentarily put off, then jumped off the chair and landed in Regulus' lap, startling him. "Bella! Oh…it's you," he said disdainfully, pushing the toddler off his lap. Narcissa moved toward her sister and pointed excitedly to the legs of the chair.

"Trixie, more!"

"Not now, Cissy. But…" Bellatrix's eyes lit up, as she surveyed the room. "Maybe tomorrow, I'll curse Auntie Walburga's mirror or something…but only if you promise to come with me and watch, okay?"

Both Narcissa and Regulus agreed readily, excited to see Bellatrix perform more magic. In later years, Narcissa would think back to how very amusing it was to have Bellatrix as a sister: she could tag along and watch Trixie curse, jinx and steal, but she would never risk facing her parents' wrath: Trixie, as the propagator of the crime, would get hit, while Cissy, Regulus and Sirius could go off and play.

Narcissa would also later marvel at how amazing it was that Bellatrix never actually managed to get caught doing anything. She was such a convincing actress, all smiles and sunshine whenever an irate parent stomped upstairs, demanding what had just caused that loud boom. The only one not excited, not cheering her on was Sirius.

"Trixie's only doing this for fun," he thought anxiously. "She obviously cares whether someone gets hurt. She would never do anything to hurt anyone; it's all in good fun… right? She'll out-grow all of this, soon Auntie Druella will start teaching her how to be a proper pureblood lady and she won't be able to play with us or steal wands anymore because she'll be learning all about who to marry and stuff…right?"

Sirius realized he needed to distract himself from his thoughts. His cousin wasn't a crazy killer or anything; she just liked to have fun like any child of her age. Sirius looked up: Bellatrix was standing noiselessly over an unsuspecting Regulus, holding a heavy book inches over his head, preparing to drop it.

"Uh… let's have a game of Gobstones then, shall we?"

"Fine," said Bellatrix, putting the book down and grabbing the game off her bed. "But only if I get to go first."

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Eleven-year-old Bellatrix Black stood on platform 9 ¾, watching the scarlet steam engine, which was billowing out smoke. It was her first day at Hogwarts, and her mother, father and sister had accompanied her to King's Cross to see her off.

"Remember, Bella," her father said. "Andromeda will be arriving at the school with the Rosiers, so look for her when you arrive. She hasn't seen you all summer so she'll want to see you, all right?"

Bellatrix nodded boredly. She heard the whistle of the Hogwarts Express, signaling students to get on. Her mother pulled her close and whispered: "Bellatrix, if I catch wind of you causing trouble at Hogwarts, there will be hell to pay when you come home for holidays. Do I make myself clear? I will not tolerate anything below what a proper pureblood young lady should be acting like, all right?" Then, Druella said, in a carrying tone, "Have fun, my Bella! We'll see you at Christmas!" She bent down to hug her daughter, who did not hug back, but merely glared with obsidian eyes at something only she seemed to see.

Cygnus Black pushed his youngest daughter toward Bellatrix, with a smile. "Say bye-bye to Trixie, Cissy! You won't see her for a few months." Bellatrix leaned down to hug her younger sister, embracing her tightly. As she did so, she slipped a piece of parchment into the pocket of Narcissa's blue frock. "Those are all the secret cupboards and things Mother and Father don't want you knowing about, Cissy. Careful with the third one down though, there are some portraits that won't stop screaming no matter what, so don't go looking in there unless no one else is around, okay?"

Narcissa nodded, letting her sister go. With a final wave and a cheery smile, Bellatrix heaved her trunk up the stairs to the train and got on. She found an almost-empty compartment towards the back of the train. There was only one other occupant in the compartment, and it was impossible to see what he looked like: his face was obscured by a very large, very old book titled_ Potions Moste Vyle._

With a satisfied smile, she opened her sweaty palm, which had been clenched around something since she had said goodbye to her sister. The boy lowered his book a few inches. His face was framed on either side by curtains of long, slightly greasy dark hair, and he was pale and scrawny. Bellatrix tossed her hair over her shoulder, and cleared her throat tentatively. The boy didn't flinch, just stared at her quizzically with fiery black eyes. She threw her mother's goblin-wrought gold wedding ring into the air and caught it, smirking.

**Author's Note: This title is basically tentative. I couldn't get feedback from you glorious people at unless I posted this, and to post, I needed a title, so there you go. I think the title's kinda fitting though, mind you. Review if you want more and all that jazz. Also, suggestions as to later chapters are much appreciated.**


	2. A Chance Encounter

Disclaimer: Nothing has changed in the last 10 minutes. I don't own anything except my fire breathing nun. And a pope-card. Don't ask.

_**I'm Not Ashamed, You're Entertained**_

"Who are _you_?" asked Bellatrix pointedly. The boy had not broken her gaze, and was still staring at her intently with black eyes, admonishing her silently for having interrupted his reading.

The boy marked the page in his book and laid it on the seat next to him. Scowling, he pushed hair out of his face.

"Who wants to know?"

"Bellatrix Araminta Black, second daughter of Cygnus and Druella Black, said Bellatrix proudly, tossing her long hair. "I'm a first year. And you are too, 'cause if you weren't, you'd be sitting with your friends instead of in an empty compartment, right?"

The boy rolled his eyes.

"For your information, _Bellatrix Araminta Black_, yes, I am a first-year. And no, I'm not sitting alone because I haven't got friends, I'm sitting alone so that I can read in peace, without being disturbed by idiots!"

"Ooh, touchy! You still haven't told me your name, though," said Bellatrix, bounding over to the other side of the compartment and plopping herself down on the seat next to the boy, narrowly missing the book.

"Severus Snape! And I'll thank you not to sit on my book!"

"Snape…," said Bellatrix slowly. "I don't recognize that, and Mother and Father always told me that I'd meet all the wizarding families worth knowing before I went to Hogwarts! You've heard of the Blacks though, right?"

"I can't say that I have. Now will you kindly leave-"

The young girl's eyes had suddenly turned from dancingly playful to fiery. She glanced back at him, and got up, pacing despite the rocking of the train.

"So you're…not pureblood, are you? You know, that's going to be a problem. Everyone knows that the only good House is Slytherin, and they take mostly purebloods. All the Blacks have been in Slytherin, you know."

At this, Severus stared out the window, annoyed. This wasn't at all how he had imagined his train ride to Hogwarts. Past experiences had taught him that normally, students waited until they were actually at school to tease him. Then again, this wasn't school, this was Hogwarts. _The_ wizarding school.

At that moment three Gryffindor third-years burst into the compartment, jeering and taunting.

"Aww, ickle first-years! Scared of the big bad Sorting Hat?"

"No, for your information!" stated Bellatrix, getting right up to the tallest Gryffindor and poking him in the chest. "We," she gestured to Severus and herself, "know we're going to be sorted into Slytherin, there's nothing for _us_ to worry about!"

She made to slam the compartment door on them, but before she could reach the door handle, Severus had drawn his wand and was pointing it at the group of Gryffindors. Instead of backing off, frightened, the boys grabbed each other in mock fear, all of them trembling exaggeratedly.

"Oh, we're _so_ scared! What are you going to do, try and levitate my quill?"

The other boys laughed, but Severus merely glared at them.

"Tarentallegra!"

At once, the three boys' legs began to jerk uncontrollably, and they were forced out of the compartment, not by Severus and Bellatrix, but by their own cursed legs.

The compartment door closed with a soft thud, and Bellatrix gaped at Severus, a strange look in her eyes.

"I thought you said you weren't pureblood! That was amazing! Most kids our age can't do spells at all, let alone jinxes! Especially when the opponents are twice your size," said Bellatrix amusedly, giving Severus's scrawny body a look of disdain.

"Thanks," said Severus shyly, suddenly losing his confident air.

Bellatrix seemed to have gotten over the fact that Severus wasn't a pureblood; his jinxing abilities rivaled her own, and Bellatrix Black was not one to take defeat, even potential defeat, lying down.

"Look!" said Severus, gesturing out the window. "I expect we'll be arriving soon."

He was already in his regulation black Hogwarts robes, and he was busily returning _Potions Moste Vyle_ to his trunk, which was impeccably packed, though falling apart slightly.

Bellatrix looked at him pointedly, gesturing slightly to her green dress. When Severus made no move to look up from his re-packing, she gave a little cough.

"I need to change into my robes."

He looked around, two points of color appearing on his pale cheeks.

"Oh…erm…right."

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The first-years were ushered out of the train in a line. As the other students took their seats in great carriages, seemingly being pulled along by nothing, the first-years trooped out to a dock not far from Hogsmeade station. Ten rickety looking rowboats were haphazardly tied to a pole. A large woman, taller than Bellatrix had ever seen, met them at the dock and gestured to the boats. She must have been at least eight feet tall, and her dust-bin lid sized hands held a wand not unlike the one Bellatrix had in the inside pocket of her robes. The only difference was that this wand was roughly the size of a large branch.

"Well, orf ya go, then! Four stu'ents to a boat, no more! Yeh'll be followin' me. I'll keep this 'ere lantern raised up high so yeh can see the way."

A deafening silence met the huge woman's words.

"Well…what're yeh all waitin' for?"

Bellatrix looked around for Severus, who had gotten caught between four other boys, all talking excitedly over his head. Bellatrix instantly recognized one of them, and ran forward.

"Sirius!"

"Trixie!"

Bellatrix elbowed Sirius hard in the ribs, hissing. "Don't call me that in public!"

Sirius laughed. Bellatrix nodded to Severus, who was now standing next to her looking mildly annoyed.

"Severus, this is my cousin Sirius. And Sirius, this is Severus…Snape."

Sirius, trying to avoid his friends' sniggers, said "Well…nice seeing you, Trixie…uh, Bellatrix. We're going to get a rowboat now."

Sirius backed off, followed by the three other boys.

"Well…I guess it's us then, Severus," said Bellatrix a little wistfully, staring after her cousin. "He's always been a little too macho anyway."

Bellatrix and Severus finally jumped into a rowboat along with two other boys. One was tall, with dark brown hair and strikingly light blue eyes.

"I'm Rodolphus Lestrange", he said proudly, holding out a hand for Severus to shake. "And you're obviously Bellatrix Black."

"I'm Rosier. Um…Evan. I mean…my name is Evan Rosier." The small dirty-blond boy held up a hand in a feeble wave. "I'm just really nervous, you know? For the Sorting?"

Rodolphus laughed. "You're kidding me, Rosier! You, scared of the Sorting? Your family's been in Slytherin for years and years! If anyone's got to worry, it's you," he said, pointing at Severus. "You haven't told us your name or anything. For all we know, you could be a Weasley! Well…" Rodolphus considered the boy's pale skin and black hair. "Maybe not. But still!"

Bellatrix surveyed the boys, all of whom were paddling the rowboat in the direction of the faint lantern beam, coolly.

"For your information, Severus Snape isn't a pureblood, but I'm sure he knows tons more jinxes than either of you put together!" Bellatrix took a breath, and looked at Rodolphus and Evan, both of whom were staring at Severus with a new-found reverence.

"Blimey!" said Evan. "Is that true?"

"Yes," said Severus shortly.

"Oh, stop bickering already," said Rodolphus. "Blood purity's important, Severus, if you really want to fit in. But we won't tell anyone, as long as you help us learn all the jinxes and everything, okay?"

Bellatrix pulled out her wand, surreptitiously fixing her hair. "Densaugeo!"

Suddenly, Rodolphus's teeth began to grow, as Evan and Severus roared with laughter. Once the teeth were past the young boy's collar, Bellatrix lifted the spell, amidst much groaning from both Evan and Severus. The boys congratulated her on the spell work; even Rodolphus had to give her a hasty pat on the back. The spell had been extremely well aimed, and Rodolphus's teeth had helped cut the ever-growing tension between them as they approached the glowing stone fortress that was Hogwarts.

As the four of them stepped gingerly out of the boat at the bank of the Hogwarts moat, Rodolphus looked at Bellatrix, eyes blazing. "I must say, Bellatrix, as much as that was painful and stupid and useless…it was also extremely amusing." He broke into a grin, eyes darting playfully.

Bellatrix grinned, as she tossed the goblin-wrought gold ring into the choppy black water. Severus and Evan however, didn't notice this. They were too busy peering at the ground around Rodolphus. Evan looked up.

"Lestrange lost his money-bag! Maybe it's…on the train or something, you know?"

Rodolphus looked around, annoyed. "I'll ask my brother about it later, I guess. There's no point squinting at the ground in pitch darkness," he said. He began to walk faster up the winding path to the castle, Bellatrix, Evan and Severus following a few paces behind.

"Hey! Severus, Evan, look at this."

With a grin, Bellatrix reached into her robes and pulled out Rodolphus Lestrange's money bag, which jingled merrily. Evan and Severus broke into gales of laughter anew.

"Why'd you do that?", asked Evan, through a fit of giggles.

Bellatrix smiled and winked.

"Obviously, I aim to please."

**Author's Note: What next, lovely readers of mine? I've got some ideas which can be found on my livejournal (prozac-fidelus. but all reader ideas are totally welcome. By the way, young Bellatrix reminds me a lot of myself. It's a bit odd, actually. And yes, that might very well be Hagrid's mother.**


	3. The Green and the Gold

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. Please read and review, and feel free to post suggestions as to further chapter. I'm definitely open to ideas. Flames are welcomes with open arms because they are, without exception, amusing.

_**I'm Not Ashamed, You're Entertained**_

Once outside the massive stone castle, it was all Bellatrix could do not to gape at the hundreds of turrets and towers that seemed to jut out of the castle at odd angles. This was nothing like Black Manor. Everything was cold and stone and grey, and yet seemed to exude a strange warmth, as if millions of tiny lights were shimmering, floating just out of view. She looked over at Severus, Rosier and Rodolphus, who all seemed to be looking up at Hogwarts castle in awe.

"Pretty amazing, isn't it," said Rodolphus, pulling his moist cloak still tighter around himself. Severus and Rosier did the same.

"It's bloody c-c-cold though, i-isn't it," said Rosier through chattering teeth. He looked over at Bellatrix, whose dark hair was dancing around her face in the high winds. "How can you not be cold in only your school robes?"

Bellatrix glanced down at him, snapped out of the trance that the sight of Hogwarts had induced. There were so many possibilities, so many opportunities for power and knowledge…

"Hmm? Oh, I'm _never_ cold," stated Bellatrix, even pushing up the sleeves of her black robes to illustrate this.

Rodolphus snorted imperceptibly: "depends on what you mean by cold," he said, elbowing Bellatrix playfully. She looked up at him, smiling and regarding Rodolphus as if he were a particularly interesting speck of dirt. He could swear he saw her wink.

"Wonder what they're keeping us outside for. I imagine we're waiting for someone…the Sorting thing…it normally happens indoors right? They aren't going to just let us freeze out here…"

The truth was, Severus Snape wouldn't have minded freezing out here, if it meant being able to stand around with Bellatrix, Rodolphus and Rosier. They didn't make fun of him, or taunt him about his hair, which was lank no matter what he did to it, or his second hand robes. They treated him like an equal. A Half Blood equal, which was more than he could say for his family, especially his father. If he wasn't being treated badly for being half Muggle, he was being treated even worse for being half wizard. He had a sneaking suspicion that kicks and bruises could hurt more than any curse hurled at him.

Little did he know, it would be within the walls of Hogwarts that he would be proven wrong, by the very girl currently standing next to him, who surveying Hogwarts castle and the tall witch in green tartan who had just appeared at the huge door of the castle, with a sort of wide eyed, childlike amazement.

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Within minutes, all of the new first years were lined up in the Great Hall between the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables. The tall witch in green tartan had introduced herself as Professor McGonagall, the Transfiguration teacher and Head of Gryffindor house. Bellatrix took an immediate dislike to her, whispering to Severus that she seemed like she had a Bowtruckle stuck somewhere painful. Rodolphus sniggered: "She looks like she's got a kilt on her head," whereas Rosier just laughed feebly, painfully aware of his own Scottish accent.

Professor McGonagall shot Bellatrix and Rodolphus, as well as the other first years who were talking nervously the sort of look that scorches, before continuing what seemed like a thoroughly rehearsed speech.

"The Sorting will commence momentarily. When I call your name, you will step forward and sit on this stool." She gestured to a worn wooden stool with an incredibly old patched hat placed in full view of every single student sitting in the Great Hall, directly in front of the staff table. It seemed to Evan Rosier and Severus Snape that they were doing all they could to ensure that the first years were humiliated as much as possible.

"Once you have sat down, I shall place the Sorting Hat on your head. Once it has decided upon your house, you will go join them at your respective table. Is that clear?"

"No," whispered Bellatrix to Severus: "I'm still wondering why you haven't taken the skirt off your head and the Bowtruckle out of your--"

"Albee, Eric!"

The hat pursed the rip above its brim as if it were a mouth. Bellatrix was sure that if it could have, it would have paced, trying to make a decision.

"Merlin!" mumbled Rosier. "If every first year takes this long, we'll be here til midnight. And I'm so hungry!"

"Ravenclaw!"

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Within ten minutes of the first Sorting, "Black, Bellatrix!" echoed through the Great Hall and Bellatrix moved through the group of first years, up to the stool. She surveyed the room with a critical gaze, eyes narrowing angrily as she looked over at the Ravenclaw table. Andromeda waved at her, smiling broadly. Not all the Blacks had been sorted into Slytherin, as she'd told Severus just an hour ago. But Ravenclaw was better than Gryffindor, of course. Even so, when Cygnus Black had gotten the news of his first born daughter's sorting results, he had pulled Bellatrix aside, and told her that under no circumstances was she to accept any house but Slytherin.

She smirked slightly at the though, smiling widely at Professor McGonagall who turned toward her holding the Sorting Hat. At least she wouldn't be disappointing her father any time soon.

_Another Black, hmm? But you don't really seem the Ravenclaw type like your sister, do you?_

Obviously not.

_No, certainly not. You certainly seem cunning enough…you like to hurt people, don't you, Bellatrix?_

What's it to you? You're just a hat? Besides, you _know_ I'm supposed to be in Slytherin! Hurry up already!

_You know, you'd do very well in Gryffindor. All that bravery, that fierce loyalty? Definitely Gryffindor material._

You're a hat. If you play games with me, I'll hex you.

_Oh, all right. I'll put you where you want to be. You'll go far, did you know that? I may be a hat, but I know potential when I see it. Do the world a favour though, Ms Black? Use your influence for good?_

Shut up. I'll use my influence how I want to.

_Spoken like a true Slytherin._

Obviously.

"Slytherin!"

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Bellatrix bounded off the stool, ears ringing with the sound of cheers from the Slytherin table. A tall Slytherin girl moved over on the bench, and Bellatrix accepted the seat with a smile, only turning her head when Andromeda turned to smile at her. She was finally where she belonged, where she'd longed to be since hearing about Hogwarts years ago. The only thing to worry about now was whether Sirius, and her new friends from the train would also be sorted into Slytherin. She didn't have long to wait:

"Black, Sirius!"

She looked over at the front of the Great Hall, where Sirius was making his way slowly up to the stool, grinning toothily at some two friends from the train: a tall, boy with messy black hair and a shorter, mousy haired boy with two long scratches down his cheek. They both gave Sirius a thumbs-up, much to Bellatrix's annoyance.

The Sorting Hat was placed on his head.

"Gryffindor!"

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

An hour later, Bellatrix's anger hadn't abated. At all. Severus, Rosier and Rodolphus were forced to endure her disgusted rants about how Sirius was a complete traitor brat who didn't deserve to bear the Black name. None of them disagreed. Both Rosier and Rodolphus had been raised in exactly the same type of household as Bellatrix, and completely agreed. You were nobody if you weren't a Slytherin, and Gryffindor was the worst. Like Rodolphus was saying, "that Muggle-lover Dumbledore was a Gryffindor, apparently, and he failed my dad in his Charms OWL."

Her dark eyes were shining with fire and well-concealed tears, fueled by the fact that she was looking over at the Gryffindor table, watching Sirius talk animatedly with mingled disgust and horror.

"My mam says that the only people worth knowing are Slytherins, or people who are friends with Slytherins," said Rosier, hoping to appeal to Bellatrix, who seemed to be only half listening, eyes still trained on the Gryffindor table.

Rosier and Rodolphus both looked over at Severus, who'd grown quiet and was staring at a goblet of pumpkin juice with rapt attention.

"I'm a Half Blood. I haven't any idea about any of this, remember?"

Bellatrix whipped around, looking at the three boys.

"See, even Severus! You're a Half Blood, but you're in Slytherin! And Sirius is from a Pureblood family, _the_ Pureblood family, and he's sorted into bloody Gryffindor! I could kill him!

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The Great Hall was emptying quickly, Prefects leading the way to the four houses' respective common rooms. Bellatrix ran up to the group of Gryffindors and grabbed Sirius's sleeve, pulling him into a darkened hallway.

"You've gone and landed yourself in Gryffindor! You PRAT!"

"Trixie, it wasn't my fault! I didn't ask to be put anywhere, the hat just…said it! And Mother and Father are going to murder me when they get the news, I don't need you angry at me too!"

"I was looking forward to being at Hogwarts with you, you idiot! Mother and Father told me we'd be in the same house, and carry on the Black family tradition of doing really well in Potions and Charms and – and everything! And now y-y-you're just not g-going to be in Slytherin, and e-e-everthing's ruined! You've gone and ruined everything!"

Sirius looked around in alarm, realizing that Bellatrix was crying loudly and a bit exaggerately, and James and Remus, his new friends from the train, were hovering uncertainly at the mouth of the hallway. It was now or never.

"Listen, Trixie, our family is obsessed with all the wrong things. And I wanted to…get out and see things myself, and then decide, instead of just being thrown into everything! A Pureblood marriage, an honourable job…I'm not even sure I want all that, just because Mother and Father say it's what I should have. I just wanted to see what it was like on the other side. And besides, I didn't ask the Hat for anything! It just…said it."

"You're a traitor, Sirius."

Bellatrix's voice was unwavering, and all traces of tears were gone now. Her eyes flared with an angry red glow from the torch in the bracket next to them. If he was lucky, she wouldn't realize it and set him on fire.

"You're a traitor and an-an idiot, and now you've gone and ruined everything! I hope you have fun with your new traitor friends," Bellatrix spat.

Sirius rolled his eyes. Bellatrix was known to get emotional over things, but his friends were watching, and he didn't want them to get the wrong impression. He was a Gryffindor now, after all. Besides, Bellatrix hadn't meant those tears. That, at least, he was sure of.

"Goodnight, Bellatrix."

"Good luck," she whispered, the malice in her voice so obvious that Sirius took a step back. He watched the hem of her black robe whip out of site and toward the Great Hall. He was sure that she'd be smiling, no sign of tears or sadness or anything but righteous indignation at her traitor cousin.

Remus approached him.

"You alright, mate? She seemed pretty angry. You said she was your cousin, did you?"

Sirius toed the ground with his foot.

"Yeah."

James appeared at Remus's side.

"Well, she seemed a right bit touched in the head if you ask me, didn't she, Remus?"

"A little. She seemed a bit scary, really."

Sirius felt heartened.

"Yeah! Exactly! Anyways, we should get up to the common room, shouldn't we?"

Sirius climbed the stairs two at a time, so that Remus and James had to jog to keep up with him.

He was surprised that Bellatrix hadn't taken a bow after that particular performance.

**Author's Note: FINALLY! God, it took forever for me to get this chapter finished. Real life kinda got in the way. Whatever. So here it is. The Sorting was a lot of fun to write. For some reason, I have this idea of the Hat liking to screw around with people who it knows have definite ideas of what house they should be in. I mean, it's a hat. That's like…its only source of fun. In any case, hope you enjoyed. Please, R and R!**


	4. One Thousand Dark Days

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. Please read and review, and feel free to suggest ideas for further chapters. Cheers.

_**I'm Not Ashamed, You're Entertained**_

The first few months of first year passed uneventfully enough for Bellatrix and the new friends she had made. She and Rodolphus had formed a sort of strange bond, built mostly on trying to out-do each other in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Severus had proven himself to be a natural at potions, blushingly admitting, to Professor Slughorn's delight, that he had been practicing with an old chemistry set since the age of ten. Evan Rosier, much to everyone's amusement, had become the first student at Hogwarts in over three decades to actually enjoy History of Magic.

"Blimey, Rosier. I don't understand how you do it," said Rodolphus, yawning widely. "I think you're the only person who managed to stay awake during that whole class!"

"Yeah, Binns does tend to drone on a lot. But I guess if you can just see past it, you know, it helps a lot? I mean, goblin wars are brilliant, just not the way he teaches it, you know?" Rosier adjusted the straps of his bag and looked over at Snape. His long nose was in a small, red leather-bound book, and he wasn't paying attention to where he was going, evidenced by the fact that he was rapidly approaching an open door.

"Snape!"

Rodolphus grabbed the other's shoulders and steered him away from the wall, smirking all the while.

"I reckon we should just let you crash next time, Snape. What with all this scintillating conversation going on around you, I'm surprised you feel the need to read at all!" Rodolphus looked around and threw a backwards glance down the corridor they had just come down.

"Speaking of scintillating, where's Bellatrix?"

A pause followed this question, and Severus and Evan both looked over at Rodolphus, confused. It was Snape's turn to sneer, something he did both quite well and extremely often.

"What, Lestrange, do you fancy her or something? The shining dark hair and glorious ebony orbs?"

Rodolphus elbowed Snape in the ribs, and intoned something about "reading too many bloody Muggle romance novels!"

"Besides," Rosier pointed out, "what's not to fancy? Or at least be interested in, or something…you know? The way she talks, you'd think she spends every second reading Dark books or something, or…killing small furry animals, you know?"

Rodolphus grinned, and said: "I wouldn't be surprised if she did, Rosier."

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One hour later, the three boys had finished their dinner, and there was still no sign of Bellatrix. They traipsed back up to the common room, confused but not altogether concerned. After all, it was very like Bellatrix to hole up in the library right after their last class of the day and not come out until very late. It was even more like her to meet with Professor Carrow, their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, at the end of some days to discuss one of Bellatrix's "imaginative" essays, or to lend her books for extra reading.

At nine o'clock in the evening, however, after all of them had finished their Astronomy essays, and Rodolphus and Severus had started a game of chess while Rosier sat in a nearby chair reading "Grindlewald: History of a Leader", they could stand it no longer. The four had been inseparable since their first day at Hogwarts, and it certainly wasn't like Bellatrix to go a day without hanging around with them, let alone a day without challenging a teacher or expressing an odd, often bordering on fanatical point of view in their classes

Despite this, during History of Magic, their last class of the day, Bellatrix hadn't said anything at all, preferring to sit between Rodolphus, who was tipping his chair back on two legs while sucking on a sugar quill and Severus, who was scratching notes busily onto a piece of parchment, looking up every few seconds to make sure he'd heard every word of Binns' lecture, saying nothing and every so often glancing at the window with distant eyes.

Rodolphus looked away from the chessboard and consulted the large clock in the corner. 9:17. He looked over at the other armchair by the fire, which was occupied by a blonde first year girl he'd spotted Bellatrix talking to a few weeks ago. He hazarded a guess at her name. It was something with an E, he was quite certain…Emma, or Eva…

"Evelyn? I'm Rodolphus Lestrange…um, I'm in your Potions class. I was just wondering if you know where Bellatrix is? You know, Bellatrix Black? I haven't seen her lately, and we're," he gestured to Severus and Evan "just wondering where she is."

Evelyn rolled her eyes and put her quill down, being careful not to smudge a still-wet essay. "I'll go check out dormitory. Stay down here."

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Within five minutes, Bellatrix had descended the stairs from the girls' dormitory looking extremely happy. Her dark eyes were glittering as always, and she had on a wide, not entirely plausible smile. Spotting Rodolphus, Rosier and Snape, she stuffed the piece of parchment she was holding into her robes.

"Lestrange! Evelyn tells me you were looking for me?" She smirked, one corner of her mouth lifting in amusement. "I have to say, I'm flattered, but I was just working on an essay. No need to get worried or anything."

She plopped down on a large green couch next to Rosier, who hastened to make room for her. Outside, the sky, framed by the mullioned windows was growing darker, and a light snow was falling. Severus Snape paid absolutely no attention to this, preferring to watch Bellatrix. There was something different about her, something altogether not quite right. He quickly realized that if he wanted to keep his new friends, he would need to show some interest in their well-being, or they would think he was an ungrateful Half-Blood.

"Bellatrix?"

She looked away from the book Rosier had abandoned on the nearby table, dark eyes flashing. Her dark hair was pulled up in a loose bun, and her green-and-grey striped tie was loosened. The sleeves of her pullover were rolled up to the elbows, and she looked every inch a girl who had just been writing an essay or doing homework. Nothing out of the ordinary.

It was then that he noticed her eyes weren't glittering with the familiar sarcastic glee, they were _glistening_.

"Yes, Snape? Have you looked at this book, by the way? It's fascinating. My aunt Elladora knew Grindlewald, you know. He _really_ was a crusader for the pure-blood way, did loads of wonderful things for Wizarding society. He greatly affected the…uh…social infrastructure of the Wizarding world." Bellatrix wrinkled her nose. "Or at least that's what Aunt Elladora says." She stuck a hand into her robes, as if to make sure her parchment was still there.

It was strange, Snape thought, for Bellatrix to be so…he couldn't put his finger on it. At the very least, it was decidedly odd to carry around a finished Herbology essay. He looked around and Rodolphus and Evan, who had started a new chess game and didn't seem to be noticing anything else. Apparently, Bellatrix's behavior wasn't out of the ordinary to them.

It came out in a rush of words, so garbled that he wasn't sure she even heard him: "Have you been crying? I mean, your eyes are all red around, and I guess maybe it's a pureblood thing, but it just seems like maybe you're sad about something…or something?"

Bellatrix looked over at him and smiled. If it was anyone but Bellatrix, someone he figured he knew pretty well after five months, he would have said it was the smile of a mad-woman. Her lips curled into a sneer and the red kohl (if it _was_ red kohl) around her eyes seemed more pronounced than ever.

"You have _no_ idea."

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

From the desk of Druella Rosier Black

_Toujours Pur_

January 19th, 1966

Bellatrix,

Shortly after your return to Hogwarts following the Christmas holidays, your father was taken ill. He is currently at St Mungo's Hospital, and the Healers are doing everything they can to ensure his return to good health. Although the Healers are not sure what your father has, one of them has confided in me his suspicions that your father's body has been taken over by a Muggle disease, something that sounds like "kanser". This same Healer also had the audacity to imply that the only way your father will be able to receive treatment is through a Muggle institution, utilizing Muggle medicine. We are Blacks, and we are purebloods, and this Healer was severely reprimanded by both myself and your father for insinuating that we would stoop so low as to transfer your father out of St Mungo's and into a Muggle hospital.

The Healers at St Mungo's have consequently given your father no more than three months to live, and your father understands this. He only hopes that Andromeda, Narcissa and yourself learn to uphold the pureblood way after his passing. It is your father's request that you and Andromeda stay at Hogwarts during this time, as he does not wish to upset you, nor for your studies to be disrupted.

-Mother

_Bellatrix;_

_Never stop learning, never stop loving and welcome life as a blessing. Carry on the pureblood way with pride, and never forget your roots: they are what you have come from, and what you will be. I love you, my Bella._

_-Father_

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Severus Snape put the piece of parchment down gently, in exactly the spot on the couch where it had fallen from Bellatrix's robes. He noticed his hands were shaking slightly.

Neither Bellatrix nor Snape mentioned this strange evening in the common room again. Lessons got harder, examinations drew nearer and friendships grew stronger still. Bellatrix never uttered a word about her father's illness. Snape watched the owls all through the end of first year, but nothing bearing the Black family crest was dropped unceremoniously in front of Bellatrix's breakfast.

At the end of first year, when Snape had not heard anything positive nor negative about Cygnus Black, he chalked up his shaking hands, and the entire letter from the strangely cold Druella Rosier Black as a dream, some strange figment of his imagination.

A year passed, then two. Bonds were cemented, and still, nothing was heard about Cygnus Black. Evan grew more and more fascinated by history, especially by Grindlewald and his take-over of Wizarding Britain, and subsequent defeat. Bellatrix and Rodolphus formed an inseparable duo of Dark Arts knowledge and quick wit, to the point where they could be found in the library or, during Hogsmeade weekends, in The Three Broomsticks, discussing the finer points of curses and hexes they were learning in Defense Against the Dark Arts, or poring over books Bellatrix had smuggled from Black Manor: her father's prolonged stay at St Mungo's had apparently given her free reign of the library.

Snape, for his part, was still excelling at Potions, much to the absolute delight of Horace Slughorn. He was also still obsessing over Cygnus Black, wondering how Bellatrix of all people, someone renowned for her passionate outbursts, could remain so calm and perfectly untroubled while her father lay dying in London.

On the last day of third year, Snape risked going to the corner of the courtyard where Rodolphus had somehow tricked Bellatrix into giving him a hug goodbye. He approached them apprehensively, and as the pair parted, Snape touched Bellatrix's arm lightly, feeling for all the world as though his limbs were too big for his body, and his tongue too wet and massive for his mouth.Rodolphus looked at Snape, slightly confused, then spotted Lysander Yaxley and hailed him with an "Oi, Yax!"

"Bellatrix. I hope your father is okay."

She looked at him, very intensely, and for a moment it was hard to believe that the girl in front of him, with her dark eyes blazing in the dazzling sunlight, was only thirteen. He had made the ultimate confession, after nearly two years. He had finally admitted, albeit indirectly, that he had read something that was obviously not meant for him. And she was probably going to kill him.

He was wrong, ultimately. She glared at him for what seemed like an eternity, looking like she was deciding whether to hex him or slap him. Then her eyes lost their fiery anger for a moment and she looked up at him.

"Thank you."

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

On July 13th, Snape received his Daily Prophet, like always. He turned to the back pages, where the obituary section was located, like always. On the top right corner of the page, a smudgy black square bore the Black family crest, and under it, the words _Cygnus Black: peacefully after a long illness. Succeeded by his wife, Druella Rosier and their three children, Andromeda, Bellatrix and Narcissa. Condolences can be presented to the Black family on 17th July at Black Manor. _The obituary was simple and straight to the point, and Snape felt a strange weight lift from his chest as he read it. He studied the Black family crest for many hours that night, trying to find more meaning in the smudged "Toujours Pur."

Years later, he will swear that he heard her sobs from miles away.

**Authors Note: This took forever, and I am truly, truly sorry for that. Real life totally sucks, honestly. So this story has taken something of a darker turn quite quickly, and also spanned a lot more time than the other chapters, which is cool. Now that they're in Fourth Year, they can do all kinds of fun stuff. R and R with some suggestions and I'll probably use them, unless they're like…Dobby/Rosier or something. Cheers!**


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